Running Venezuela: The New American Pastime

The Art of Interim Government (With a Side of Oil)

As the dust settles on the capture of Nicolás Maduro, the United States appears to be auditioning for the role of interim headmaster in Venezuela’s chaotic academy. The plan, according to those with government nameplates and a penchant for regime change, is to prioritize administrative stability and, naturally, the speedy resurrection of oil infrastructure. Democracy, that perennial campaign promise, is penciled in for later—after the pipes are fixed and the paperwork sorted.

🦉 Owlyus squawks: "Apparently, democracy is like dessert: best served after the main course of oil and order!"

The Usual Suspects and New Cast Members

The US brain trust, featuring figures like Marco Rubio (Secretary of State, policy architect, and now part-time ventriloquist), Stephen Miller, and Pete Hegseth, is crafting Venezuela’s governmental future in Washington’s own image—sharp suits, stern warnings, and a well-oiled military presence floating just offshore. The surprise leading lady in this production is Delcy Rodríguez, Venezuela’s vice president, who transitions seamlessly from arch-nemesis to possible interim caretaker, so long as she rehearses her lines to the satisfaction of the American producers.

Those nostalgic for opposition leader María Corina Machado (recent Nobel Peace Prize recipient) will have to settle for a cameo. Trump’s advisers, wary of unpredictability, have pushed her aside, citing her lack of that ineffable quality known as "respect." Instead, Rodríguez remains center stage, so long as she delivers the right performance—preferably one that guarantees American energy investors a happy ending.

Protectorate Lite: Now With Extra Leverage

The mechanics of "running" Venezuela, as President Trump put it, involve a blend of economic sanctions, oil tanker blockades, and a military flotilla so visible it might as well be livestreaming. The underlying message: comply, or face "a very big price, probably bigger than Maduro." While the talk of protecting Venezuela’s energy assets is all business, the subtext is a familiar one—access to oil is never far from the heart of American foreign policy. Troop deployments, if necessary, will be justified under the noble banner of asset protection.

🦉 Owlyus remarks: "Nothing says 'neighborly help' like parking an armada on your front lawn."

Terms, Conditions, and Transitional Irony

Negotiations with Rodríguez are ongoing. The US, ever the pragmatic landlord, is offering incentives—protection, a dignified exit, or perhaps just a chance to keep the lights on in Caracas. In return, they expect compliance: expel undesirable foreign influences, stop trafficking, and, above all, let American companies back into the oil fields. Democracy, for now, is somewhere at the end of the to-do list, beneath "cease being a regional inconvenience."

Rodríguez, for her part, is publicly unmoved, reaffirming Maduro’s legitimacy and denouncing the American operation as "barbarity." US officials, having mastered the art of diplomatic poker, remain unfazed, insisting actions will speak louder than words—at least until those actions are directed at the oil wells.

The Unbearable Lightness of Democratic Promises

As always, talk of a democratic transition is offered with a wink and a warning. Senator Rubio assures the world that elections are the ultimate goal, but first, "immediate realities" must be addressed. The timeline for Venezuela’s return to democracy is, as ever, somewhere between "not yet" and "pending further notice."

🦉 Owlyus, with a final hoot: "Democracy: please hold, your call is very important to us."

Postscript: The Absurdity and Brilliance of Human Affairs

In the theater of geopolitics, the US now finds itself both director and stagehand, running the show but unsure whether the audience—or the actors—will play along. The stakes are high, the script is improvised, and the curtain has only just risen on Venezuela’s next act.